the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
