i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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