i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
