I molested 6 butterflies tonight
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
