I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
