Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
