ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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