i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
