Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
