I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
