well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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