she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
