Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
