im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
