Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
