Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Randomize
