Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
