is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
