And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I checked into jail on foursquare
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
