you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
