She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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