it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
