Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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