i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
