the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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