Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
