You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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