The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dignity is for republicans.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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