yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
should my penis look like a turkey
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
