He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
