u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
