i just had sex bonerless
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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