ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
