so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
