Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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