She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
time to smoke my breakfast
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
