somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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