I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
