the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
