Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
