I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
