Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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