I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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