I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
