Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
