Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
