Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
