and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
