Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
