It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
