I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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