Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
